tall penguin

Joined

• started 74 topics
• posted 1,077 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by tall penguin

• 
  39

  Five Mistakes women make in relationships

  by Wendy_Warden in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  okay guys, this is for you.

  in your personal opinon what are the five mistakes women make in relationships?

  i know everyone is going to have a different answer but i'd like to see if there's a tread throughout.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  Ha Clam! I was going to post that cartoon too. Great minds think alike.
  
  tall penguin
• 
  39

  Five Mistakes women make in relationships

  by Wendy_Warden in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  okay guys, this is for you.

  in your personal opinon what are the five mistakes women make in relationships?

  i know everyone is going to have a different answer but i'd like to see if there's a tread throughout.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  Well, I can only speak from experience here.
  
  1. Expecting their significant other to be everything they need, particularly emotionally. No one can do this. It puts enormous pressure on a relationship. Women (and men) need to be realistic in what they expect of their SO and get some of their emotional needs met elsewhere, from within themselves or through girlfriends, family, a therapist, etc.
  
  2. Hanging on to fairy-tale notions of love and relationship. Reading romance novels definitely doesn't help! Sometimes I think women get so caught up in their idealistic view of what "should" be that they can't deal with what IS, again putting pressure on the SO to live up to unrealistic standards.
  
  3. Not keeping boundaries with family clear. Sometimes women involve their mothers, sisters, other family in relationship issues hoping to get "other points of view". In reality though, some women just want someone to take their side, against their SO. While that may be a valid stand at certain times, family isn't in relationship with your SO and it is you who must make the decisions regarding your relationship. And often, once they're let in, family can cause wedges in your relationships if you're not clear with your boundaries.
  
  4. Not being clear with finances. Money is the number one issue with couples in long-term relationship. Women need to be clear about keeping hold of their own financial identity and clarifying what areas of the finances they will share with their SO and which they will keep separate.
  
  5. Not really hearing their SO. (Both sexes do this.) I find women, myself included, hear things through their own filter, based on their own experiences. Actually, we all do this to some extent. And we can quickly think we know what the other person is saying because we think we've heard it before or it sounds similar to something else we've experienced. In reality though, we may have no idea what our SO is trying to convey unless we are willing to listen first, allow them their full expression (even if it's not what we want to hear) and then be willing to mirror it back to ensure that what we heard was really what they wanted to convey. And keep going back and forth until the communication is clear. The book "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall B. Rosenberg is a great read on the subject.
  
  tall penguin
  
  Edited to add: OOOOPS! I'm not a guy! Sorry Wendy. I'm gonna leave my thoughts up anyways. Incidentally, these are the points most guys tell me are issues in their relationships.
• 
  24

  I never thought I would live to see

  by Junction-Guy in

  1. social
  2. current

  the day when smoking was banned in paintsville kentucky.

  this little town where my family comes from is not only smack dab in the bible belt, but is also the tobacco belt.

  eastern kentuckians have a higher rate of smoking than probably anywhere in the u.s. the new ban will affect only restaurants.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  Toronto has had a complete smoking ban for a few years now. There is no smoking in any public buildings, malls, restaurants, bars, etc. If bars/restaurants want a smoking section, it has to be completely self-contained and separate from the main area and well-ventilated.
  
  Personally, I'm happy about it. Dying of second-hand smoke would be a waste.
  
  tall penguin
• 
  1

  A New Age Perspective during the Festival of Light.......

  by Sunnygal41 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a message from caroline myss.

  a gift of light, a gift for the soul.

  there is something about the darkness that has always made people want to gather together to celebrate the return of the light the winter solstice, chanukah, christmas.

  1. 
• 

  tall penguin

  Interesting.
  
  tall penguin
• 
  5

  Stumbling block?

  by Junction-Guy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well this should be my last post before i go to bed, im well past my bedtime.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------you remember back in your jw days when the wt society's publications rambled on and on about stumbling people, you know they would always say "dont do this, you could stumble someone, dont do that you could stumble someone" but whenever someone stumbled you they would reply "thats silly, you cant be stumbled, it's your fault for letting yourself be stumbled" doesnt it amaze you how they can talk out of both sides of their mouths?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  OMG! This particular teaching had my head doing cartwheels. It's one of the reasons I still have such a hard time understanding where my personal responsibility begins and ends. Not to mention the whole bloodguilty stuff. Geesh, what a complete mindf*#k!
  
  tall penguin
• 
  52

  What song best epitomizes what keeps you going

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know a lot of song threads have been posted but i am interested in what and why a particular song moves you to keep going when you have lost so much.. if possible find the lyrics to the song and post them along with your what song and why it was so important.

  as a kid i had an old 78 record player that i had to wind up to play (i did say old.

  ) there was one old record that had a song by ed ames 'the impossible dream" i was in foster care and had no contact with my family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  I love "Beautiful Child" by Rufus Wainwright. It reminds me that I can be a child again and all is not lost. And his voice is so very lovely. This song makes me cry every time.
  
  When I am older than these small god damned hills
  And there's no reason for my mind to be still
  Oh, how I'll feel like a beautiful child
  Such a beautiful child again
  
  When I have finally found my room filled with toys
  Be banging on my crib excited by noise
  Oh, how I'll feel like a beautiful child
  Such a beautiful child again
  
  And when there's nothing to gain
  Or bring me pain or pin the blame
  On you or myself
  
  And when they finally fall
  These wailing walls and burdened crosses
  God's twilights and all
  How I'll feel like a beautiful child
  Such a beautiful child again
• 
  14

  Another visit Another doctor

  by purplesofa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i went to the doctor yesterday for my exit counselling and some other things.. we talked about the religion, this is my first visit with her.

  she said there is another good and loving god .....not that cruel one.

  and she knew about the shunning that the witnesses do.. so this is the second doc within a weeks time, that seems to have a bit of background knowledge on the witness religion.. i wondered how many witnesses have needed counselling????

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  I was actually speaking to a cult info centre in Montreal this week. He said the group he gets the most calls about are the jw's. Thought that was interesting.
  
  I too have started working with an exit counsellor. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to speak to a therapist who knows the jw doctrine, protocol and jargon, as well how to help those who've been raised a jw enter the real world. I can't wait for our next session.
  
  Glad you're getting some assistance too Purps.
  
  tall penguin
• 
  4

  Christmas Songs

  by TooBad TooSad in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been a witness for over 35 years and i enjoy listening to christmas songs.

  of course i listen to them in my car when i am by myself.

  and i hide the cd's from my relatives who would be in shock and horror to know that i listen to these pagan songs.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  I'm finding myself really feeling nostalgic for Christmas this year. I'm not a believer, yet I'm really enjoying listening to Christmas music. I think it has something to do with having celebrated Christmas for the first 4 years of my life before my mom converted to jw. It's like there's this little girl in me who remembers that time. It's a kind of warm and fuzzy feeling.
  
  tall penguin
• 
  90

  The Science of Belief

  by LittleToe in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  time and again the refrain is heard that belief and science are mutually exclusive, that belief somehow corrupts good science, that belief is not empirical.

  i'd like to throw another slant on that, if i may.. belief is an inherent part of the human psyche.

  the desire to know more about our environment and how it all works is also an inherent part of our psyche.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  I just wanted to say how much I am enjoying this thread. I've been hashing a lot of this stuff around in my head in recent months and enjoy the discussion.
  
  tall penguin
• 
  24

  who besides me turned a friend into the elders for something trivial?

  by PaNiCAtTaCk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i told on a girl for liking a worldy boy at school.

  me and another brother actually waited down the street from the boys house to see if she went there after school, just to get some proof for the eders.

  i cant believe i did that:( did anyone else spy on another witness like i did?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  tall penguin

  Guilty as charged. :(